This Summer, Will be Epic

Note: My computer has been on the fritz the last few weeks so I haven't been able to update as much as I would like to..so to all of those drunken bromances - what we do in life, echoes in Eternity (name the quote and I'll buy you a cookie).

June has officially arrived in NYC and that can only mean one thing - it's summer summer summer time. The Summer (Summer will now and forever be capitalized. And no, this is not an OC reference) brings a lot of amazing things to the plate when you live in the City. There are the Soho Girls walking around lower Manhattan in their sundresses, high heels and sunglasses that cover half three-quarters their faces. There are the Bros, who walk around Murray Hill "Wolfpack" style, sporting bright striped polo shirts, DEP hair and an occasional barbed wire tattoo. And let's not forget the RIVAL ASIAN GROUPS who love to play "Red Rover" as they traverse Broadway/Chinatown, linking arms and walking in a seemingly impenetrable line of gossip, foreign languages and bubble tea.

As an NYU veteran, I've been around the city the past few summers and can officially break it down into five stages:

Stage 1 - Nice Weather = 24 Hour, Champagne Diet

Usually around late May/early June, this stage brings back Outdoor Drinking. You can tell it's this stage of the Summer because you will receive the following text on a Tuesday night - "It's nice weather, LET'S DO THISSS." Other qualities include: not checking a jacket at the club, creating a "Movies I Need to See" list and re-discovering a love for Blue Moon..

Stage 2 - I don't care if we live in NYC, I still want my TAN

People like to be tan in the Summer, city-dwellers or  not. This stage is classified by beach visits, laying out in Central Park or playing basketball outdoors. You know when you see someone at work Monday morning whose face is completely sunburned but you play it off by saying something nice like "you got a lot of color this weekend!"? Classic Stage 2.

Stage 3 - I hate people.

Tourists invade NYC  and bring with them everything that vexes someone who lives in the City. Lines for anything, 2 hour waits @ Shake Shack, strangers asking you for directions on the subway, men wearing visors, etc.

Stage 4 - Apartment Lockdown

Instead of trying to explain this one, I'm going to go Nostradamus on you and look into the future. Guaranteed Tweets to occur during stage 4 include:

• "FML IT'S SO HOT"
• "WHY IS IT SO HOT"
• "My air conditioner is broken, WHYYYY"
• "I'm not leaving the apartment, EVER AGAIN"
• "Wahhhhhhhhh someone please bring me an ice cofee :("

Stage 5 - Crap Summer is ending = 24 Hour, Champagne Diet REMIX

Around late August, there is the slow realization that Summer is ending and Fall will slowly but surely set upon us. It's been drilled into our brains since elementary school that while Summer is a time of fun & craziness, Fall brings back work and responsibility. And you know what college/post college young adults say to this? THIS.

For the record, we are the transition between Stage 1 and Stage 2. I hope to have a great Summer with good eats, amazing friends and memories to last a lifetime. Summer 2k11, LET'S DO THISSS.

In MTN, my next biggest challenge is to cut weight - my goal is to be in the low 170's range by the middle of the Summer. Ever since I've gotten back on a regular workout schedule, I've slowly been gaining weight (muscle, I hope). While I normally wouldn't mind, I'm afraid that if I continue to gain I'll lose some speed in my punches/kicks. This means cardio cardio cardio - I've been trying to take some of my Muay Thai classes back-to-back to get a better workout too. Don't forget - I'm still the Biggest Loser Champion (see one of my other posts for an old picture).

In other news, I've been to Atlantic City two weekends in a row. While this may make me seem like a complete degenerate (a status which I adore, gimme the belt baby), I have learned some valuable lessons. I may be a few hundred dollars poorer, but knowledge is power. Just do me a favor friends, next time we are at the Casino, remind me of these rules should I forget them.

(I'll continue to add to this last as I get older. Shouts to Mrs. Cooper, Predator, the Boss, Troll #1, Shaolin, Doctah, Zordon, Apollo 11, Air Jordan, Ke$ha and Nanny McPhee. Day & Night All Day)

MKP's Gambling Rules

Rule #1: Always, always, ALWAYS gamble with women. The other guys at the table will love it, you will love it, and they bring luck. (When was the last time the - "I went to AC with a bunch of my boys" story actually had a happy ending? Usually, it ends with a) a tamed down version of the Hangover the next morning or b) trying to chase girls at 3AM because you forgot Rule #1)

Rule #2: Time passes so quickly in the Casino, don't even bother trying to plan out the next day. I kid you not, it's like backwards Inception because where hours feel like minutes. Thus, when it's 8AM and you stumble back to bad, realize no one is going to be functional the next morning. It's just not happening.

Rule #3: Even if you have your own special game, the Sex and the City slot machine is fun. Because no matter if you're a man, woman, grandma or child you will always end up thinking - Why thank you Machine, I would LOVE to pick out Samantha's next outfit!

Finally, happy belated/early birthdays to One Love, The Queen & Zordon!

Peace & Love,
MKP